The Smallest Leaf

You hear the small sounds first; the leaf that’s gently made it’s way to the ground and rested itself on the soft earth, the quiet stream that’s just behind you trickling away from now till forever, the snap of a branch as a rabbit runs into the thick undergrowth and the unstoppable force of the wind going through the trees. You feel the air run over you, It blows away the heat from the sun which feels like a dancing fire on your skin. Way up above you the branches of the ancient trees seem to sprawl out like they’ve been wove by spiders. You lose yourself in the subtly of every detail in every leaf, the smallest lines which lead to the largest branch. Then when you think you know the sight of what’s above you the wind blows the leaves and the branches creek and twist so everything is new and forever changing. Looking down you see a sea of undergrowth, the small plants raise up and crash into each other searching for light and space. 

Song I wrote this to  - Smog - Vessel in Vain. Got to give a lot of credit to Dan Cresswell who recommend the song and inspired me the start writing again. 

Keeping your cool

Ok so I'm having a really good week but now I can tell someone is really trying to get to me and make me snap so what do I do to stop things from getting worse? Well i don't know at the moment but I'm going to sit here and figure out how.

So what I just need was put on my favourite album but I'm still shaking with rage while typing and all I want is for them to stop but even as I'm typing there still doing it, I can't block them out and I don't want them to realise that it's getting to me and I'm soon going to snap and do something i'll regret. Right next option is to try and get someone to stop them but i don't want to snap so going to be careful and think about what i say.

Ok that was false hope as the person I was thinking of isn't online, still shaking slightly and i want to hit something but i know better and outbursts like that aren't going to help anything. Keeping cool isn't easy and I feel like the anger is growing inside me like a Tuma but I can't let it out. Ok now they just did something that seems rather nice, unless theres hidden subtlety to it that I don't know about. Ok taking deep breaths seems to help and theres me thinking that was just a cliche. Really trying to control myself now, i don't know what i'd do if i saw this person in real life and they we're saying the same sort of things, cause i know that my anger would get the better of me and i'd crack like glass. Then i couldn't tell you want'd happen. I might strike out cause it's been known to happen, or might i might go into a massive rage which would only spiral outwards from there.

So i guess I'm cool now, and it seems that just ignoring it and distracting myself with this was the best thing to do. Ok I know it's been a while since a post on here but i promise to but some proper stuff up soon, october is a month of change and all that.

Tears and ashes

Something I wrote not to long ago, it's not quiet a poem and not really a story but i'm putting it up here anyway. 


I walk through the fields by myself sometimes, with no particular aim, just walking. Trying to see how long I can go without touching the rest of humanity. But eventually there’ll be a man walking his dog or a woman out jogging. I don’t even take in the perfect surroundings, the clear blue sky which rolls and dives until it bumps into the endless green fields. I don’t notice the trees grasping up at the air standing tall and majestic, or the spring flowers peaking out of the ground there colors making the grey buildings I walk away from look like prisons. I don’t listen to the soothing sound of nature, the birds, the wind through the grass and the trees swaying as if to wave to you. Instead I plug myself into heavy metal and let it pound in my ears till I go deaf.  I don’t take in the sweet sent in the air of the flowers blooming; it doesn’t register in my brain. The wind doesn’t cool my skin when its hot and the sun doesn’t warm me when its cold. I walk through so many distractions and yet there’s still only one thing on my mind the fact that you don’t walk with me anymore. I used feel your hand in mine as we walked, I used to smell the perfume and the soap on your skin, I used to listen to your voice and let in enchant my ears, I would bath in the beauty and your eyes would take me away into another world. But instead I walk among your ashes and the tears shed for your departure until I come to the journeys end, where I find you’re not waiting for me and I wander into more distractions.

Online impact

Ok so this is yet another bit of the internet which I have to maintain now and it got me thinking how much time I spend just keeping things up to date. I mean right now I'm updating this new blog while constantly reading all the info of twitter, as well as talking to people on Facebook. Thats not to mention checking and responding to email and keeping photo albums up to date online.

So I know there's a reason I do all this, but what is the point in having such a big online impact, is it really so necessary to be everywhere online talking to the people you see all day? Wouldn't it be better to go on a night out with friends rather than sit in the house talking to them on Facebook or MSN.

Granted I know I sound like a hypocrite cause I'm writing this online but thats one of the main ways to reach a bigger audience nowadays, to be online cause the other forums  of media are dying out. How many young people today will sit down and read a news paper to find out whats going on? they won't they'll go online and read about it or, like I do a lot of the time, people will find out through social media. Take the recent earthquake in japan, i found out about that when I saw it on Facebook and then went to the BBC news website to read the story, this is the true meaning of social media, learning things the old fashion way, well sort of, through people you know.

I'm not calling new media a bad thing, it has many merits and I have to admit i couldn't live without it. But when people live for there Facebook and twitter then things have gone to far. When fights break out because someone liked somebody else's status things have gotten serious. And when criminals start using social media, the recent UK riots, then things are going wrong somewhere.

Animated life

There are birds flying round my head.

They tweet and fly and swoop until I grow dizzy watching them.

I walk with birds around my head.

People watch as I walk and they point and stare and laugh; until I forget they’re there.

There are hearts in my eyes.

They block my sense and make me stubble and trip.

I look at people with hearts in my eyes.

They don’t look back with hearts in there’s, they look back with x's. 

There’s steam coming out my ears.

Passion turns red and the first plague finds it’s way into hearts.

Steam comes out my ears.

Hands fly like alarm sprung bed sheets and words sucker punch even worse.