Tears and ashes

Something I wrote not to long ago, it's not quiet a poem and not really a story but i'm putting it up here anyway. 


I walk through the fields by myself sometimes, with no particular aim, just walking. Trying to see how long I can go without touching the rest of humanity. But eventually there’ll be a man walking his dog or a woman out jogging. I don’t even take in the perfect surroundings, the clear blue sky which rolls and dives until it bumps into the endless green fields. I don’t notice the trees grasping up at the air standing tall and majestic, or the spring flowers peaking out of the ground there colors making the grey buildings I walk away from look like prisons. I don’t listen to the soothing sound of nature, the birds, the wind through the grass and the trees swaying as if to wave to you. Instead I plug myself into heavy metal and let it pound in my ears till I go deaf.  I don’t take in the sweet sent in the air of the flowers blooming; it doesn’t register in my brain. The wind doesn’t cool my skin when its hot and the sun doesn’t warm me when its cold. I walk through so many distractions and yet there’s still only one thing on my mind the fact that you don’t walk with me anymore. I used feel your hand in mine as we walked, I used to smell the perfume and the soap on your skin, I used to listen to your voice and let in enchant my ears, I would bath in the beauty and your eyes would take me away into another world. But instead I walk among your ashes and the tears shed for your departure until I come to the journeys end, where I find you’re not waiting for me and I wander into more distractions.